Miranda’s eyes

When I met Miranda, I crouched down to her level
Looked into her eyes
And saw more than I could have imagined

Miranda's-eye

photo credit Moriah Newhouse

 

Her eyes reflected fear and trust and desperation all at once
She clung to me with those eyes
Beautiful eyes

At night, eyes shut, she clung to me with her hands
Clung like her life depended on it
Maybe it did

I used to wonder what terrible things those eyes had seen
What made them wide with fear when I ran water for her bath
What made her shut them tight when I lit a candle

I still wonder
And I wonder something more
I wonder what her eyes are seeing now

Is she still blinded
By the pain and lies and betrayal she faced
All those things that blocked her way when I first saw her?

I pray Miranda has been healed
I pray the Savior has touched her eyes
I pray He has enabled those eyes to focus on His face

I pray they reflect fear infrequently
I pray they see trustworthy people all around
I pray they are now shut to desperation

And open to the Light

what is life?

a sequel to {what is death}

life
quiet sometimes
joyful noise at times
invaluable grace-filled gift for all
normal

normal
but not mundane
each moment bursting with
hidden gifts to be discovered
miracle

miracle
a child breathes
his first breath after
nine precious hidden months
of life

of life
developing
the being and the growing
confound the one who tries to fathom
this

this…
what is this?
an unasked-for journey
trudging through time for what?
death

death
ever nearing
until you breathe your last
at two weeks or two-hundred years
the end

the end?
or the beginning?
for True Life only begins
when this first life ends at last
freedom

this is life and death for the Redeemed

what is death?

death
quiet sometimes
much too loud at times
inescapable for all
unsought

unsought?
normally
is death a normal thing?
if yes then why recoil at a
tragedy?

tragedy
a child dies
everyone agrees
that this is not as it should be
in life

in life
as in death
the comings and the goings
fatigue the one who tries to fathom
this

this…
what is this?
an unasked-for journey
trudging though time for what?
life

life
ever growing
until the growth stops short
at two weeks or two-hundred years comes
death

death
the end
or is it the beginning?
what will happen to you when you
die?

the sequel will be published on Monday… {what is life?}

Bethany

Who do I see when I look at this face?

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A young lady maturing so quickly
A girl overcoming obstacles most people don’t know about
A daughter, invaluable to her mother
A little sister, loving to share in her big sisters’ joys
A big sister, teaching and helping little brothers
A caregiver, gentle and kind with those weaker than herself
A horse-rider, strong and responsible
A hard worker, always busy blessing

Who do I see when I look at Bethany?
I see Jesus.

 

Happy Birthday, Bethany!

darkness AKA depression {a short story}

Depression is real. I know, because I’ve faced it. And I know others who have too. The following is a fictional account of what many of us are feeling… If you’re feeling something like this, reach out. Send the text. Talk to someone. I know it’s hard to believe, but there is light. Ask someone to help you see it.

I tried the self-talk
I tried the meds
I tried just dragging myself out of bed every day and pretending it didn’t exist

But the darkness followed me

You didn’t know, because I smiled
I covered the dark circles with makeup and my Facebook wall with nice things
You didn’t know because I didn’t want you to know

You didn’t know that when I got home after the movie
I sat in front of the mirror and cried, just to see the mascara run
Because the black streaks looked the way I felt

You didn’t know that when I called in sick last week
I lay there, coughing and wondering if anything was really wrong with me
Because sometimes I can’t sort out truth from lies

You didn’t know that when I joked about needing a nap
I had gone to sleep at seven the night before and gotten plenty of rest
Because it’s not sleep deprivation, it’s depression

You didn’t know any of it
And you still don’t
But I need you to

So I tap out a text:
I would do anything to escape this darkness
My thumb hovers over the send button

Then, without hardly knowing it
I touch it
Send

I wait
An eternity
And wonder why I bothered you

I should stop bothering people
Free them up to live their happy lives
Without this sad “friend” dragging them down.

The text comes in silently
My phone is always on silent when I’m alone
You’ll get thru this

I wish it were that easy
To just leave the darkness
You think I can, but I can’t

Another text
I know you can, because I have
Come over…we can talk about it

I didn’t know
You suffered in silence too
Here I thought I was alone

Those two little text messages
Make a world of difference
They let in a sliver of light

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photo credit Mark Newhouse