if only you knew

you tell me I don’t have to carry this burden
but I do
it is my just reward

you tell me I’m not past forgiveness
but I am
it goes deeper than you know

you tell me the things I do don’t define me
but they do
it is who I am

who am I?
why do you think you know me?
don’t I know myself better than anyone?

the only one who could know me better than myself would be…

…would be the one who made me

you say you know him?
you know the one who made me?
the one who has more of a right than anyone
even me
to define who I am?

you say he knows me?
knows me better than I know myself?
because he knows who he made me to be?
and he says that’s who I am now?

who is this me that I do not know?

free and forgiven

because even though it is true
that my burden is my just reward
the just judge is also the justifier
and he took my burden for me

because even though I’m in deep
what is deeper than hell?
and even that place is not beyond his reach

so this is who I am?
this is who I am
forgiven and free