I never pictured it this way

Almost two years ago
I posted a poem with this title on my old blog
{you can read it here}

Today I revisit the idea…with minimal revisions
I’m surprised and almost brought to tears
at the beautiful lesson that He is still teaching me

 

I never pictured being here or doing this…

How many times have I said that these two years?
How many times have I made that basic statement:
that I never pictured myself living this life God has me living?

Why not?
Why not dream the big dreams God has for me?
Why not claim more territory for His glory and the blessing of others?

Because I don’t know.
I don’t know what are God’s dreams for me and what are my own imaginations.
I don’t know how to have faith to step into the great unknown territory He’s opening up.

It’s a hard line to walk.
On the one side are the desires God gives me.
On the other, the desires He asks me to give up to Him.

But there’s more than that.
What about the things God has for me that I’m not sure I want?
What about the things I’m sure I need that He doesn’t seem to be giving me?

Almost half a dozen years ago I sang this song with my mom.
Even then I could look back and marvel at where God had brought me.
But I couldn’t have imagined where He would bring me in just six short years.

I never pictured myself here.
So why do I try to imagine my future?
God has something bigger planned. Something I can’t picture.

And that’s a glorious thought.

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