for the mothers without children in their arms

{originally published on Heavenly Princess}

When a mother loses a child – through abortion, miscarriage, foster care, or something else – the pain is real…and lasting. My heart goes out to those mothers today.

I’m a mother too
No one knows
And the people who once knew have forgotten
Maybe they think I want them to forget
Maybe they think I’ve forgotten
Maybe I want to
But I can’t
How can a mother forget her child?

I remember
When I see a child the age of the one I don’t have
When I wake in the night and my baby isn’t there
When I least expect it
I remember

I am not alone
We are among you
Hiding in plain sight
Beside you in the classroom
Behind you in church
Before you at work

If you know one of us
If you haven’t forgotten
But think we have
Know that we haven’t
And please
Let us know you haven’t either
Because we are mothers too

  

JFA and Me: What’s Next?

the next step of my journey with JFA

Never say never! A year ago I thought there was no way I would move to Wichita to work for Justice For All (JFA), but I’ve been here volunteering full-time for five months. And now the JFA leadership and I have decided that a year-long, paid internship is in my near future! I can’t do this alone! At the end of the letter I will share how you can participate in this exciting next step. But first, I’d like to share six of the lessons God has taught me as He’s brought me to this point.

{click here to continue reading my most recent newsletter}

You can read past newsletters here

Daniel

He was my baby
the little one who taught me how to nurture
when I first met him, he wasn’t mine, but I claimed him anyway
a couple year later he officially joined our family
my little bro

Today
nine years later
(Really? Nine whole years have passed?)
this little guy’s growing up too fast
growing into a man

A man after God’s own heart
A man learning virtue
A man learning grace
A man learning love
A man of God

Keep growing, little man
Grow to be the man God has created you to be

 

Miranda’s eyes

When I met Miranda, I crouched down to her level
Looked into her eyes
And saw more than I could have imagined

photo credit Moriah Newhouse

 

Her eyes reflected fear and trust and desperation all at once
She clung to me with those eyes
Beautiful eyes

At night, eyes shut, she clung to me with her hands
Clung like her life depended on it
Maybe it did

I used to wonder what terrible things those eyes had seen
What made them wide with fear when I ran water for her bath
What made her shut them tight when I lit a candle

I still wonder
And I wonder something more
I wonder what her eyes are seeing now

Is she still blinded
By the pain and lies and betrayal she faced
All those things that blocked her way when I first saw her?

I pray Miranda has been healed
I pray the Savior has touched her eyes
I pray He has enabled those eyes to focus on His face

I pray they reflect fear infrequently
I pray they see trustworthy people all around
I pray they are now shut to desperation

And open to the Light