six months in to “lovein2015”

on January first of this year, I shared my word for the year
what have I learned thus far?

To love at all is to be vulnerable.
~C.S. Lewis

these words of C.S. Lewis sum up and describe my experiences
when I look back on what I have tagged “lovein2015” a pattern emerges

I have become sensitive to both the freedom and necessity of love
whether walking to work or remembering lost loved ones

I have likewise become keenly aware of my own fear
how, in the name of self-protection, I keep love hidden

I have learned that love is often synonymous with vulnerability
love may be a great risk but it’s more risky not to love

I have six more months to love in 2015…the question is: will I?
or will I fear vulnerability and shy away from love?

sometimes the emotions are too much
the words spilling onto the page
may only be understood
by the heart that bled them out

in response to William Carlos Williams

 

Beginning years ago, Marge Pellegrino has inspired and encouraged me to write. I had the privilege of participating in one of her workshops this week, and this is the result of one of the exercises…

Pastoral
By William Carlos Williams

When I was younger
it was plain to me
I must make something of myself.
Older now
I walk back streets
admiring the houses
of the very poor:
roof out of line with sides
the yards cluttered
with old chicken wire, ashes,
furniture gone wrong;
the fences and outhouses
built of barrel staves
and parts of boxes, all,
if I am fortunate,
smeared a bluish green
that properly weathered
pleases me best of all colors.
No one
will believe this
of vast import to the nation.

It takes a moment of reflection;
a moment to choose to absorb the emotion
of a certain time and space
to appreciate what is of true value in the world.
What is progress?
What is productivity?
Only a certain person’s perception.
What is purpose?
Now that is a better question to ask
for purpose transcends
both progress and productivity.
Neither of these exist in a moment;
both must rest on the past and the future,
but purpose —
purpose simply is.
It does not rely on what has been
or what is to come,
but rather it defines that which is
as well as that which was
and that which will be.

perspective from a sailboat

Inspired by the song Sailboat, by Ben Rector

I’m on a sailboat

trapped, water surrounding me

water surrounding me with beauty

alone in the silence

enjoying the peace of solitude

insecure, unsure of where I’m drifting

drifting along, excited to see where I end up

no oars to fight the direction the wind takes me

blessed surrender, carried along by the wind

who knows what I’m headed toward?

God knows where I’m going

exposed to the elements

soaking in the mist and the breeze